Toilet Paper

For a society which is so concerned about what touches and not touches their a**hole, people care way too less abut the toilet paper they use. A generic brand leaves your as**ole feeling itchy and sore and not in the good way. WINK WINK. You bum deserves the best, something better than your ex. And that’s Cheeky Panda’s silky soft toilet paper. Made from bamboo they’re so soft that wiping will feel like being gently kissed by angels with clouds as lips.

Not that I know what that feels like.

The paper is made from FSC certified Bamboo. They are dermatologically tested, free from PFAS and any forever chemicals.

The Core and the packaging are made from recycled cardboard and are widely recyclable.

Writing down instructions on how to use toilet paper is probably the highlight of my life. It’s all downhill from here. Being someone who didn't use toilet paper for 23 years of my life ( I used bidets, I did not, NOT have a clean a*sho*e), using toilet paper is pretty much like wiping anything else.

Tear off a necessary amount, usually recommend 2-3 sheets and wipe it across your food exit hole in a gentle motion making sure to only go in one direction. With every wipe you can fold the paper, and since Cheeky Panda’s paper is completely degradable you can just toss it in the toilet. Give it a few more wipe until you do not see any stains on the paper.

If you see blood you probably wiped too much or maybe you might need to go see the doctor.